Why Talking Down to Your Teen Doesn’t Work
Just as you hate it when coworkers, friends, or even your own parents point out that they know better than you, your teen will hate that as well. Not only will they hate it, but it won’t accomplish your objective either. At best, your teen will grudgingly comply, but at the cost of their self-esteem.
How to Avoid Talking Down to Your Teen
Adolescence is a time when teens need to become stronger in their sense of self and belief in their abilities. Talking down to your teen harms their development in that it can lower self-esteem and lead to your teen doubting that they are capable. When you feel the urge to talk down to your teen, stop yourself and remind yourself that it is your job to help teach your teen how to consider multiple aspects of a situation before choosing how to act. In addition, remind yourself that how you go about guiding them will affect their belief in their abilities and sense of self, which will affect their willingness to work hard and try new things.
What to Try Instead
Instead of telling your teens that you know best, sit down and spend time talking with them about their point of view and yours. Your teen may realize that they don’t have all the information—or you may realize that their perspective works as well. If your teen feels heard and respected, they will be much more likely to compromise or go along with your decision than if you simply put your foot down and say that this is how it will be because you know what is best (even though that may be true!)