When it comes to giving your teen more independence, try to think outside the box. It may not be possible for your child to participate in some rites of passage, such as driving alone or going to college but it is still very important for your teen to feel she is gaining independence as she gets older. Work with your teen to find something that they CAN do that will give them a sense of independence.
Find something they’re good at. If they’re upset because they can’t do an activity they used to do, talk with them about why that activity was important. See if those wants or feelings can be fulfilled in another way. For example, if your son loved football but isn’t allowed to play now, talk with him about managing a team or being an assistant coach for younger children.
The important thing is to help your teen find something that they are good at and can feel good about doing.
- Give him the responsibility of preparing one meal for the family each week; have your teen create a shopping list and go to the store with you to find the ingredients for “their” meal.
- Help her find a volunteer position where she can use her talents to help others; it is great experience for her and can help her realize she is capable of helping others.
- Help your teen get a job; perhaps he will need you to drive him to work but he will still feel good knowing he is earning his own money and working like other teens.
Feeling a sense of independence is very important for a teen’s growing sense of self-worth. It is vital to help your teen find things they can still do that will encourage independence and self-worth, yet that are also safe and appropriate for their stage of development.