Argue Against “Should” and “Have To”
- Ask yourself, “Do I Really Have To”?
- People put a lot of pressure on themselves by saying they should or they have to do something.
- If something is making you stressed, consider all the options and consequences before deciding that you have to do something. Think of it as “important” or your choice instead of something you have to or should do.
Question Extreme Words
- These are words that make things more dramatic than they really are. For example, “If I don’t get the newest cell phone, my social life is over!”
- Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff!
Challenge Over-Generalizations
- Too often people use the words always and never or everyone and nobody
- For example, ask yourself, “Is it really true that I never do things right?” Chances are you do many things well!
Replace Negative Statements with Positives
- “No, it’s not true because I do a lot of things well. For example, I can sing and I’m funny”.
Don’t Pretend to be a Mind Reader or Fortune Teller
- Do you really know or do you just think you know? For example, if your friend doesn’t say “Hi” to you in the hall, don’t assume that he or she is mad. There could be a lot of things going on.
All challenges in life can be viewed in a positive way or a negative way. The way you think about problems makes a difference in whether you give up or are motivated to keep trying.
Change Your Negative Thoughts
Here are some examples of ways that people can change a negative or bad thought into a more positive or good thought.
Negative/Bad
- All problems are my fault.
- Problems are a threat and should be avoided or attacked immediately.
- There is no way I can solve this problem.
- A “smart” person should be able to solve problems easily.
Positive/Good
- Problems are just part of life.
- Problems are a challenge and lead to personal growth.
- There is a solution and I can find it.
- It takes time and effort to solve problems.