• Use “I” messages instead of “You” messages. For example, “I think it would help if he could turn in his homework late” versus “You expect him to get his homework done in too little time.”
• Don’t use absolutes like “always”and “never.” For example, “You always ignore my child in class.” Or, “You never give her a chance to answer questions.”
• Actively listen. This involves paying attention to what the person is saying so you understand his or her perspective. Wait to solve the problem after you’ve heard the other side.

For example, if your daughter’s science teacher tells you that she hasn’t turned in any assignments on time and that she’s likely to get a “C” in the class, resist the temptation to interrupt and say, “Why didn’t I hear about this sooner? You never keep me informed about her work!” Instead, listen, and wait until the teacher has finished. This way, you are more likely to hear and understand the teacher’s concerns. When you do respond, remember to use “I” statements, such as ” I feel it’s helpful when I’m kept informed.”